FrickleFreckleFrack

Do the frickle-freckle-frack

greywatch:

The Fuhrer has basically hired you to be his hostage. Will you be alright?

#’my third mom is scary’

(Source: miikasaas, via borninsideachair)

“Men always say that as the defining compliment: the Cool Girl. She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because ‘I like strong women’ is code for ‘I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.

—   Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn. (via whoistorule)

(Source: the-library-and-step-on-it, via borninsideachair)

lance-the-kanto-dragon-master:

mishawinsexster:

JK drops a truth bomb

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE FOREVER BUT NOBODY BLOODY LISTENS

(via borninsideachair)

“Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.”

—   Katherine Henson (via cleamour)

(Source: , via borninsideachair)

officialannakendrick:

could you please put your crying kid on vibrate

(Source: dutchster, via borninsideachair)

“So what? You failed your finals. You gained some weight. So what? You’re single again. You lost your job. So what? What now? You live. You try again. That’s what.”

—   Unknown (via blackbruise)

(Source: c0ntemplations, via borninsideachair)

borninsideachair:

christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.
Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.
The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.


Reblogging for excellent commentary.

this is why I hate dolphins

borninsideachair:

christophool:

vorticity007:

supaslim:

Guys, let me tell you about orcas.

Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.

The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:

image

THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

Reblogging for excellent commentary.

this is why I hate dolphins

Daniel Radcliffe photographed by Robert Ascroft for New York Moves Magazine (2014)

(Source: danielradcliffedaily, via borninsideachair)

kgm42986:

izziesworldofizzie:

stagecoachjessi:

Classic Hollywood Bloopers

And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:

These are WONDERFUL

(via borninsideachair)

crasymofo:

IF YOU THINK IM GOING TO SPEND MY DAY LISTENING TO THIS SONG ON REPEAT UNTIL I MEMORIZE ALL THE LYRICS BACKGROUND NOISES DRUM BEAT HARMONIES then you are absolutely right my friend

(Source: instadayum, via borninsideachair)